The first of these, an Hungarian merchant, when three years old, got hold of a journal of fashions, and used to kiss the pictures of the men in it until the paper, he says, was torn to tatters, but paid no attention to the most beautiful female figures. When a boy, he would lurk for hours around available places, to obtain a sight of male genitals; when he succeeded, a strange feeling of dizziness coming over him, with partial erections. At thirteen he began to masturbate; and from then till his fifteenth year had opportunity to sleep with a very handsome man, which afforded him unspeakable happiness.
For hours at night he would wait for his bedfellow's return, with constant erection; and if, in bed, the latter touched his genitals, it afforded him the greatest delight. At school he encountered a boy with instincts similar to his own, and they used to sit together on the fence for hours, holding each other's penises. As often as possible he lingered in the bathhouse, just to obtain a glimpse of the other boys' genitals. This always induced violent erections, which were relieved subsequently by masturbation.
In his eighteenth year he attempted intercourse with a prostitute, but she was filthy in her person, and disgust and fear made it a failure.1
' A notable refutation of Ariosto's saying that "hungry doge will eat dirty puddings."
Afterward he tried it again, with success; but the act, outside of the satisfaction of feeling that he was at least a man, afforded him rather disgust than pleasure. Subsequent attempts, however, were all unsuccessful. When the woman was undressing, he found it necessary to put out the light to overcome his feeling of repugnance for her; and in dancing, if a woman pressed against him, he always felt the same feeling of aversion. But if, in a joke, he danced with a gentleman, the contrary was the case. He liked to press and rub against his partner, and danced frequently with men for that purpose.
"There must be something peculiar about me," he says, "for once when I was eighteen a gentleman who came into the office remarked to a friendó'that's a fine boy over there; in the East he would bring five dollars, every time!"'
Another gentleman used to like to joke with him, and stole kisses from him when going away, which the other says he gave very gladly. His first actual seduction was by a priest. The latter made a rendezvous with the young man, and took him to his room, where an intercourse was begun which lasted, with great feeling of satisfaction to both, for five years. The boy took the passive, or woman's part, and grew so attached to the priest that his life became filled with jealousy, and fear of ultimate desertion. He remains utterly incapable of normal intercourse with women; but is quite potent, indeed lustful, with men.
1 In China, Persia and Constantinople the boy pets are usually bought. Among the Romans, Egyptians and Chaldeans they were slaves, and had to submit to their masters. Henry III of France kept his male mignons very expensively; but it is related that the celebrated assassin of the Duke of Guise had "only the embarrassment of a choice among the young lords who surrounded him." It was as to which one of the court butterflies, as they were called, would first offer his complaisance to the royal pederast, consumeiu luxa flagittisque domum, as Claudianus remarks of the libertine, Curetius. (.Epigram-mala, In Curctium.)